From Paris with Love

From Paris with Love poster

From Paris with Love poster

John Travolta is back, (Did he REALLY ever go anywhere?), apparently with a vengeance against anyone and everyone…

At it’s core, “From Paris” (a Luc Besson film) is a pure action flick, with a little bit of cop buddy movie thrown in. The film starts out deceptively low key, with a bit of whimsy, that sets the mood for not taking itself too seriously, while almost slapping other spy moveis in the face with a lead lined glove. James Reece (Jonathan Rhys Meyers), the probie, is assigned to place a bug in the office of a high ranking official, and he attempts to stick it under the desk with a piece of gum. After a few amusing attempts, he uses a stapler to unglamourously secure it.

Charlie Wax (John Travolta) is the probie’s next assignment. He is tasked with escorting Wax around Paris. Upon meeting Wax for the first time, he is being held in customs, assaulting the security officials with f-bombs aplenty. We soon find out that this “persona” was used as a diversion to buy him time to be able to smuggle in his favorite gun…

Within the series of events that ultimately end up making a bit of sense, there are glimpses of deepness that I would have liked to have seen examined more. But if that were to happen, “Paris” would not be a typical action flick. It takes us down into a world of drugs, violence, more violence, assassination, conspiracy and terrorism. And it all takes place in a about 36 hours.

Mr Travolta is pretty convincing as a bad ass “covert” operative. There is not a whole lot of hand to hand combat, but the amount of bullets more than makes up for it. Even if that amount of bullets leaves us calling “BS!” that he receives nary a scratch from all the flying lead…  Unless he gets a little more pep in his step, they may want to consider not using him for the running chase scenes… (Not nearly as bas as Steven Segal, but he’s no Will Smith)

To sum up, “From Paris with Love” is a pretty capable, and not completely dumbed down action movie. Will I own it? Doubtful. Does it do as advertised and take you on a whirlwind ride? Yes.

Legion

Legion movie poster My mom always told me if I can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything at all. If that theory applied to movie reviews, this one would be blank…

Legion was a mess from the opening voice over quote. Insert one dimensional characters, implausible action scenes, simple logic mistakes of what ANYBODY would not do in any horror situation, the stupidity of the Angels, and you have yourself a direct to DVD release.

God has sent his angels to erase mankind of the face of the earth, because in essence, he is tired of them. But wait! There is an unborn child who is not supposed to be born, but if he/she is, humanity has a chance. Michael, the Angel tasked with the destruction of said “chosen one” refuses, removes his wings, and takes up the mantel of defender. Fine, whatever.

Here’s the plan to wipe out humanity… Angels possess the weak humans and use them as vessels to destroy the stronger ones. I’m thinking, why not just have the Angels (as ACTUAL Angels) wipe them out. Seems to be a bit easier, no middle man. Oh yeah, did I mention that since humans are vessels, all the “Angels” have to freakin’ DRIVE to the diner  where the unborn child is. Why not smite the diner, called Paradise Falls,  from on high? Too much imagery example -> Michael arrives on earth at a building that contains an arsenal. Upon leaving, instead of walking out the door, he blasts a hole through the wall that is a perfect cross.

The most glaring plot hole of the entire movie is one of the minions is mere inches away from the belly of the typically unwed mother. Instead of slaughtering her to bring about Armageddon, the old lady simply becomes vulgar and tells the patrons they are all going to die. Talk about a missed opportunity. Yes, the movie have been over at that point and my review would be more favorable.

One thing that MAY have made this movie better is if it did not try to take itself so seriously. A swift kick in the ass from the (attempted) Epic end of the scale to comedy horror (somewhere towards Shaun of the Dead) would have been a major improvement. There were a few witty lines strewn throughout, but in the context of “this is really serious stuff,” they felt awkward and definitely out of place.

Rating: 3 0f 10 (It gets 2 points for being made and distributed, and 1 for production quality)

The Book of Eli

bookofeliposterWhen the names Denzel Washington and Gary Oldman appear on the same movie poster, you expect greatness… And I love it when you get what is expected. Finally, a movie that didn’t completely waste the potential that lies within (like Gamer).

The Book of Eli” is an decidedly brutal account of a post apocalyptic civilization and belief structure where people are literally few and far between, those that can be trusted are even farther away. “Eli” opens with its title character hunting a cat in the forest, amid a shower of what I assume to be radioactive ash. The whole aura of the film gives the impression of desolation in a world of uncaring steel. It makes “The Road Warrior” look like an out of control tea party.

Eli (Denzel Washington), protects (partial spoiler alert!) the only surviving copy of the King James Bible. He has been walking for 30 years, guided by his faith, to a place that offers the rebirth of mankind. Walking, since the war burned a hole in the sky.

There is no actual account of what caused the war, some say The Book is responsible. According to Carnegie (Gary Oldman), all copies were destroyed after the war. Carnegie is a not so typical warlord that controls a segment of the surviving populace. What makes him so potentially dangerous, is he actually has a workable plan. He wants to use The Book as hope and as a weapon, targeting the hearts of the weak and desperate. Before  you start to say, “whateva!” check history for what atrocities have ALREADY happened in regards to The Bible and many major religions.

As for the social commentary, Eli discusses with Solara (Mila Kunis) of how things used to be. He states the food was plentiful and how they used to throw away things that people would now kill for. As a society, maybe we can use this as the beginning of a wakeup call for what is now considered important. I like some stuff and toys as much as the next person, but have been realizing that unused items occupying space do not enrich my life.

Two themes that seems to persist in all destruction of society movies is 1) women definitely hold up better than men. Solara and Claudia (Jennifer Beals) are HOT! 2) Someone will always find a way to keep vehicles running… George (Michael Gambon) and Martha (Frances de la Tour) are an older couple that has been able to survive, and hold on to the family farm in the process. They offer a glimmer of comic relief, while forcing us to look in the mirror of what we could become if faced with a hopefully unimaginable situation.

Rating: 8.5

Imaginarium of Dr Parnassus

TheImaginariumofDrParnassusTerry Gilliam. The brilliant mind which gave us Time Bandits, Brazil, Adventures of Baron Munchausen, and multiple Monty Python films. Barring the fact that I was not on a chemically induced high, (which the promos implied that I would need to be), this was not one of my favorite Gilliam productions.

Instead of me trying to explain what the synopsis is, here is a link to the official website. (Trust me, it’s easier this way)

Now that you have read that, here is my take… I got the impression that this was supposed to be a historical Good vs Evil story, but it was more “Eh” vs Evil… Tom Waits was a clearly defined Devil figure, Christopher Plummer was the so-called “good” guy. My compassion level for the Doctor did not even register. He was supposed to be an enlightened person, (this is an assumption as he is shown leading a group of monks in storytelling/chanting)  and yet somehow (unconvincingly) gets duped by the devil, and continues to make ridiculously BAD decisions. After he figures out that that Mr. Nick is a force of evil, does he think that jumping in bed with him again and again again (in the form of wagers) is going to be a good thing, or that there is any way he will ever “win”?!? (Yes, it would make for a possibly much shorter movie if he had thought that way, but come on… make me believe it).

No disrespect to the late Mr. Ledger, but I was not feeling the magic that Heath has exuded in some of his memorable roles. (Of which, I expected this to be one) I am not saying he phoned it in, it was just not special for me. Tony’s story started as an interesting curiosity, found hung and left for dead under a bridge, and ended as a shameful disappointment.

The stand out character is Anton (Andrew Garfield). The awkward performance while promoting the traveling show is almost painful. His unrequited love for the lovely daughter of Dr Parnassus, Valentina (Lily Cole) can almost be felt (unless you have never been in love with someone you could never have). She the only positive result of the Doctor’s relationship with Mr. Nick.

I may have missed it, but other than some not so funny and possibly self loathing “comic” relief, what is the purpose of Percy (Verne Troyer)? He may be the Guardian Angel character, but it is unclear to me. He is shown in the past as one of the many monks, but also in the present and throughout history. We know (from the movie) that Dr. Parnassus has been granted immortality, but why is Percy pulled through time with him? (Sometimes I just need to be spoon fed information… )

Rating: 6 out of 10 stars

Sherlock Holmes

sherlock-holmesFrom the opening moments, I was mesmerized by the complete immersion into period England. It was rough, gritty, and real. Even the elegant, upper scale elements bear the scars of how difficult life must have been.

Set design and production quality aside, I am not sure how Sir Arthur Conan Doyle would appreciate the depiction of his beloved characters, but Guy Ritchie has done a decent job of keeping one foot on the proper road without taking a complete dive into Hollywood over indulgence.

Holmes (Robert Downey Jr) and Watson (Jude Law) spend a bit too much time waffling between an ersatz homosexual relationship and dysfunctional. Their codependency is brought to the forefront with Watson’s intention to marry the lovely Mary Morstan (Kelly Reilly). Irene Adler (Rachel McAdams) portrays the interest to Holmes, and the only person to have ever bested him. Twice. Irene is strong, intelligent and capable, but has been swept up in the plot to undo Mr. Holmes ability to do what he does best. Never once does she revert to the stereotypical helpless female, which plagues too many movies these days.

RDJ does a very compelling job of walking the tightrope that separates intelligence and hyper observance (almost to the point of annoyance) from sheer insanity. Holmes appears to be on the edge of becoming a complete madman. Only to be held back by Watson and the case he is currently immersed in. When his mind has nothing to focus on, Holmes dedicates time to investigating how flies respond to different sound patterns. Relegating Law’s Watson to a purely historical sidekick status would be unfair.

The great sleuths find themselves investigating the black arts in the form of Lord Blackwood (Mark Strong), who literally rises from the dead, with a plan to rule the British kingdom and take back the colonies. The story is, at times, overly complicated, but everything has a place. Breadcrumbs are scattered throughout and unless you are schooled in absolutely everything, real and theorhetical, you may miss the significance of many of them (I did).

Sherlock Holmes is, in my opinion, a reboot (has SH ever been an ongoing franchise?). It has everything we have come to expect in blockbusters; explosions, beautiful women, action (RDJ has been working out, he is nearly rivaling Kurt Russell from Soldier), edgy wit and plot twists. It has the potential to do what Casino Royale did for James Bond… I don’t think it carries the same powerhouse punch, but it is an entertaining ride.

Avatar

Avatar

Avatar is finally here.
The short of it is, for the most part, this movie is definitely worth the hype! The long of it is, Avatar is by no means an original story. It is an amalgamation of familiar stories, transported to an whole different arena, and executed VERY well. Avatar is a combination of every love story you have ever seen, meets The Matrix, meets Platoon, meets Aliens, meets human ignorance and arrogance.
The year is 2154, and humans are still obsessed with greed and, well, that’s pretty much it. Except now they have expanded that greed across the galaxy to Pandora. A rich deposit of ore that is key to solving the earth’s energy crisis  lies beneath “Hometree,” a giant tree one of clans of the indigenous population called the “Na’vi,” inhabit.
Jake (Sam Worthington) is a paraplegic Marine who is recruited to drive an Avatar after his twin brother dies on earth. An Avatar is a genetic Na’vi and human hybrid that allows its human driver to survive the toxic air of Pandora (they are DNA specific, hence the twin brother). His mission is to infiltrate the Na’vi, get them to trust him and do what he can to facilitate the relocation peacefully. On his first night out, Jake is separated from his science teammates, saved by Neytiri (Zoe Saldana) and is allowed to meet the tribe and learn their ways.
At this point, the familiarity ensues. Jake, the “baby,” learns their native language, to hunt, survive in the harsh yet lovely environment, literally bond with the creatures of the planet, and that it is wrong to wipe out another species for profit. The social references are not veiled as earth’s history replays in my head…
Dr Grace Augustine (Sigourney Weaver) scientifically proves that everything on Pandora is intertwined and EVERYTHING lives in harmony. Of course the business and military contingents of the mission do not want to hear any of it. For all they care, the Na’vi could be second cousins asking for a loan. Parker Selfridge (Giovanni Ribisi) is the corporate representative that is almost as eager as Colonel Miles Quatrich (Stephen Lang) to destroy the Na’vi. (Think Carter Burke from Aliens on steroids). When the clash takes place, it is what the battle for Endor should have been. No cute and furry Teddy Bears, but real Warriors defending their home and fighting for the right to exist.
The visual eye candy, “real” and animated, is redonkulous! You’re in space, you’re in the dirt, you’re in the trees! (literally) If Avatar does not win any awards other than the most expensive movie made to date, then we know the fix is in. The epic value may be a bit grandiose at times, but it is worth it to see the imagination and creativity that went into creating Pandora. Floating mountains, lush landscapes, towering waterfalls, and creatures I wish really do exist, are brought to life with millions of zeros and ones.
The performances from everyone are believable, even Marine Grunt #12 was giving it his all. Trudy Chacon (Michelle Rodriguez-a hottie in any movie!) is the Marine with a heart who “didn’t sign on for this shit.” Some of the other actors don’t have it as easy as she… I think it speaks volumes when the emotion transcends the boundary of being a digitally animated 9′ blue warrior on a fictional planet, and I actually “care.”
I actually found the 3D a little distracting at times. Yes, they shoot the arrows at the camera. Yes, leaves fall toward the lens. Yes, they fly headlong through huge CG trees at breakneck speeds and every other 3D trick we remember from the 80’s. If you can’t see it in 3D, don’t worry, it will not take away from the core experience.
Avatar is to animation, is what The Matrix was to special effects in 1999. It is undeniably ground breaking, definitely inspiring, and has me sitting on the edge of my seat waiting to see what the next step will be. And at a running time of 150, I am curious to see what could possibly be in the director’s cut…

James Cameron’s Avatar is finally here.

The short of it is, for the most part, this movie is definitely worth the hype! The long of it is, Avatar is by no means an original story. It is an amalgamation of familiar stories, transported to an whole different arena, and executed VERY well. Avatar is a combination of every love story you have ever seen, meets The Matrix, meets Platoon, meets Aliens, meets human ignorance and arrogance.

The year is 2154, surprisingly, humans are still obsessed with greed and, well, that’s pretty much it. Except now they have expanded that greed across the galaxy to Pandora. A rich deposit of ore that is key to solving the earth’s energy crisis  lies beneath “Hometree,” a giant tree one of clans of the indigenous population called the “Na’vi,” inhabit.

Jake (Sam Worthington) is a paraplegic Marine who is recruited to drive an Avatar after his twin brother dies on earth. An Avatar is a genetic Na’vi and human hybrid that allows its human driver to survive the toxic air of Pandora (they are DNA specific, hence the twin brother). His mission is to infiltrate the Na’vi, get them to trust him and do what he can to facilitate the relocation peacefully. On his first night out, Jake is separated from his science teammates, saved by Neytiri (Zoe Saldana) and is allowed to meet the tribe and learn their ways.

At this point, the familiarity ensues. Jake, the “baby,” learns their native language, to hunt, survive in the harsh yet lovely environment, literally bond with the creatures of the planet, and that it is wrong to wipe out another species for profit. The social references are not veiled as earth’s history replays in my head…

Dr Grace Augustine (Sigourney Weaver) scientifically proves that everything on Pandora is intertwined and EVERYTHING lives in harmony. Of course the business and military contingents of the mission do not want to hear any of it. For all they care, the Na’vi could be second cousins asking for a loan. Parker Selfridge (Giovanni Ribisi) is the corporate representative that is almost as eager as Colonel Miles Quatrich (Stephen Lang) to destroy the Na’vi. (Think a much more agressive Carter Burke from Aliens). When the inevitable clash takes place, it is what the battle for Endor should have been. No cute, furry Teddy Bears, but real Warriors defending their home and fighting for the right to exist.

The visual eye candy, “real” and animated, is redonkulous! You’re in space, you’re in the dirt, you’re in the trees! (literally) If Avatar does not win any awards other than the most expensive movie made to date, then we know the fix is in. The epic value may be a bit grandiose at times, but it is worth it to see the imagination and creativity that went into creating Pandora. Floating mountains, lush landscapes, towering waterfalls, and creatures I wish really do exist, are brought to life with millions of zeros and ones.

The performances from everyone are believable, even Marine Grunt #12 was giving it his all. Trudy Chacon (Michelle Rodriguez-a hottie in any movie!) is the Marine with a heart who “didn’t sign on for this shit.” Some of the other actors don’t have it as easy as she… I think it speaks volumes when the emotion transcends the boundary of being a digitally animated 9′ blue warrior on a fictional planet, and I actually “care.”

I actually found the 3D a little distracting at times. Yes, they shoot the arrows at the camera. Yes, leaves fall toward the lens. Yes, they fly headlong through huge CG trees at breakneck speeds and every other 3D trick we remember from the 80’s. If you can’t see it in 3D, don’t worry, it will not take away from the core experience.

Avatar is to animation, is what The Matrix was to special effects in 1999. It is undeniably ground breaking, definitely inspiring, and has me sitting on the edge of my seat waiting to see what the next step will be. And at a running time of 150, I am curious to see what could possibly be in the director’s cut…

CSI:Miami

I have been catching this show on occasion, and every time it’s caught, I just want to let it go…

From David Caruso’s “acting,” the FLIMSY plots and the BS forensics, (yes, all the crime shows take some liberties, BUT COME ON!) how has this stayed on the air?!?

This is one car wreck that I can turn away from. I have reached my limit of giving it a chance… I say no more CSI:Miami. No more superficial eye candy. (Eat too much and it makes you sick) No more ridiculously STUPID stories. No more contradicting evaluations of a crime scene before the sentence is ended.

No more.

Ninja Assassin

ninjaassassinposter

This movie has all the CGI blood, action and cheese that was expected, but also supplied a surprising amount of depth. (Note: some terms are used in a relative nature)

The backstory follows Raizo, played by Rain, as he extracts himself from the warped “family” (the Ozunu Clan) that took him from the streets as a child and raised him to be the killing MA-chine that he is today. As an adult, Rain is pursued by the aforementioned clan that he has forsaken. He is joined by Mika (Naomie Harris) after he saves her life from the Ozunu. Mika, a Europol agent, is investigating a financial trail that parallels historical assassinations carried out by the near mythical Ozunu.

The depth comes from Rain’s growth from young urchin to nearly unstoppable force. It appears that time was taken to make sure some characters were given a modicum of personality. Young Raizo exhibits the coldness and skill that forces him to become the favorite son. He also proves that killing machines can fall in love, even if they do not stop said love from being slaughtered.

Ninja Assassin borrows heavily from the “classic” stories that we grew up with. When boosted by the hyper adrenaline that is known as the Wachowski Brothers, you get a wild, over the top, action flick that would make Kung Fu Theater shrivel up and become sterile.

One of the reasons I enjoyed this movie is that it took the Ninja folklore that we (ok, I…) imagined as a child and gave it credibility on a supernatural level. Ninjas literally emerge from the shadows, track you by scent, and heal themselves. Granted, this does sound farfetched, and it is. Where else can ninjas hurl shuriken with such hurricane ferocity and ridiculous accuracy they pulverize humans and embed deep into sheet metal of cars.

Take this movie for what it is… A bad ass man, with some bad ass weapons, that kills the bad guys. It exists along the same lines as Kill Bill, but gets to the point a lot quicker, and no Tarantino-esque dialogue. There could have been more dialogue with Raizo as an adult, as he spent too much time being the troubled, waaay silent anti-hero.

As incredible and fanciful it sounds, this is definitely NOT a movie for children… The R rating is definitely earned. It is for adults who don’t quite want to grow up.

Official Website